Open the Xbox app on your PC, click your gamerpic in the top-left corner, select Settings, and choose the page that matches what you want to change. To friend someone, go to the Social tab, select Find people, search the gamertag, and choose Add friend. Most settings apply immediately; some sync across devices only after a restart.
How the PC Xbox app stores and applies your settings
The Xbox app for Windows is a client, not the source of truth. Most of what you toggle lives on Microsoft's account and Xbox network servers, and the app pulls that state down at sign-in. That architecture explains a behavior that confuses people: you change a setting on the PC, then open the Xbox app on your phone or console and see the same change.
Local settings are different. Notification behavior, app startup, and some display preferences are stored on the PC itself and do not travel with your account. If a setting seems to "reset," you may be looking at a server-side account setting that another device changed, or a local setting on a second PC.
Sign-in state is the third layer. The app ties your settings to the Microsoft account currently signed in. Switch accounts and the entire settings surface changes with it. Your friend list, privacy choices, and communication preferences all follow the account, not the machine.
That is the mental model to hold: account settings follow you, local settings stay put, and the app is a window onto both.
What each settings page actually controls
Settings in the current app is organized into a short list of pages. Each one maps to a distinct mechanism rather than a random assortment of toggles.
General covers app behavior on the PC, including language and region display. Account covers your Microsoft account and sign-in. Privacy controls who can see your profile, who can message you, and who can send friend requests. Notifications governs which events trigger a pop-up or banner. Connections manages linked services such as social accounts. About shows version information you may need when troubleshooting.
The privacy page is the one people most often misread. Settings there are not saved locally as a simple on/off. They are permission rules published to the Xbox network, and they are enforced when another player tries to interact with you. If you set friend requests to "friends only," a stranger who searches your gamertag and taps Add friend will have that request blocked at the network level, not the app level.
Quantified context: how friend and privacy rules propagate
Friend requests and privacy rules propagate across every device signed into the same account, typically within seconds. The app does not hold a queue of pending requests on the PC; it reads what the service reports.
Two thresholds matter more than any slider. First, a friend request is only delivered if the recipient's privacy rule permits it at the moment of sending. Second, once a person is on your friends list, most communication permissions default to that relationship, which is why adding someone can suddenly open messaging that was previously closed.
Microsoft's family and child account model adds another layer. Child accounts have privacy defaults set by the organizer, and some communication and friending options are locked. An adult changing settings on a child's behalf must do so from the family settings surface, not the child's app.
Plain version: friending is a network permission check, and the check runs at the moment you tap Add friend.
Where the friend flow lives, and why search sometimes fails
Tap the Social tab, then Find people. Type the gamertag exactly. The app searches the network, not your local contacts, so a person must exist on the Xbox network for results to appear.
Search failures trace to a few repeatable causes. A gamertag that was recently changed may not appear under its old name. A player who has restricted their profile visibility may not surface in search at all. Network lag or a stale sign-in token can produce an empty result set that resolves after signing out and back in.
The counterintuitive part, and the professional caveat worth internalizing: successful search does not guarantee a successful friend request. Search is discovery; the request is a permission transaction. You can find someone and still be blocked by their privacy rules, and the app will not always explain which rule stopped you.
Edge cases that change the outcome
Several situations break the simple flow and account for most support questions.
Child accounts: friending and messaging are governed by family settings, and some options are unavailable until the organizer changes them. Cross-network play: friends on other platforms connect through linked accounts, and not every title supports it. Blocked users: a block silently prevents requests, and the blocked person may see nothing. Stale sessions: an expired sign-in token makes settings and friend searches behave inconsistently until you sign out and back in. Multiple PCs: local notification settings must be set on each machine separately.
Misconceptions worth correcting
People routinely assume the app stores their friend list on the PC. It does not. Uninstalling and reinstalling the app does not lose friends, because the list lives on the account. Conversely, deleting the app's local data can reset PC-specific preferences without touching your social graph.
Another common error: treating "appear offline" as a privacy shield. It changes your visible status but does not alter who can send friend requests or messages. Those are separate permission rules.
A third: assuming a settings change on one device should instantly appear everywhere and concluding the app is broken when it does not. Server propagation is usually quick but not instantaneous, and a restart forces a fresh pull.
Comparison table: where to make each kind of change
| Change you want | Where it lives | Scope | Applies immediately |
|---|---|---|---|
| Friend requests and messaging rules | Privacy settings | Account-wide | Usually, after sync |
| Add or remove a friend | Social tab, Find people | Account-wide | Yes, on network confirmation |
| Notification pop-ups on this PC | Notifications settings | This PC only | Yes |
| Language and region display | General settings | This PC only | After restart |
| Linked social accounts | Connections | Account-wide | Yes |
| Blocked players | Privacy or profile | Account-wide | Yes |
| Child communication limits | Family settings | Account-wide | After organizer change |
Timeline table: what happens after you tap Add friend
| Step | What occurs | Typical timing |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Search gamertag | App queries the Xbox network | Under a few seconds |
| 2. Tap Add friend | Client sends a request to the service | Instant send |
| 3. Permission check | Recipient's privacy rule is evaluated | Immediate |
| 4. Delivery | Request appears for the recipient if permitted | Seconds to minutes |
| 5. Recipient accepts | Friend relationship is established | When they act |
| 6. Sync across devices | Other signed-in devices update | Seconds to a few minutes |
| 7. Communication opens | Default permissions for friends apply | On acceptance |
Practical actions with thresholds
Follow this sequence when something is not working and you want a deterministic result.
Confirm the exact account. Click your gamerpic and verify the signed-in Microsoft account before changing anything. For friend requests, set privacy to "everyone" or "friends of friends" only if you intend to accept requests from strangers. Add friends through Social, then Find people, and search the exact gamertag. If search returns nothing, sign out, sign back in, and search again before assuming the person does not exist. For notification problems, change the setting, fully close the app, and relaunch to force a fresh pull. For child accounts, make changes from family settings, not the child's app.
Treat a wait of more than a few minutes for cross-device sync as a signal to restart the app rather than keep toggling settings.
Limitations and what this guide cannot tell you
The app's settings layout changes across releases, and menu labels can differ by version and region. Exact wording of permission options and the availability of some social features depend on your account type and the title you are playing. This guide describes the stable mechanisms, not a guarantee that every label matches your build.
If a feature behaves differently than described, the reliable next step is to check the current in-app labels rather than rely on any static guide, including this one.